In this article, we are approaching the dimension of relationships. If we look to our lives, our human existence is bound by 3 essential relationships: to ourselves, to others and to nature. No one can escape this reality and, at the same time, if we understand the importance of each of those relationships for our individual and collective wellbeing, we release our power to transition to more healthy, caring, peaceful and sustainable societies.
1. Relationship with ourselves
Let’s look first at our relationship to ourselves. You are the most incredible and perfectly-adapted tool to make a positive impact in your life and in our shared and collective reality. Adding to that, our dearest and inseparable companion on our journey is our own self. We are the one person that will always support ourselves, as well as who we will have to deal with for all the time we are alive on earth and above. Yet, many people forget the importance of cultivating this relationship, or do not do it very consciously. This is, however, the primary relationship that affects all of our other relations. Before we can truly have strong relationships with others and with nature, we must first have a strong relationship with ourselves. There are some important points to consider when we think about cultivating this relationship. We will focus here on two core points: self-knowledge and self-kindness
Self-knowledge and the famous expression “know thyself” is a crucial one. The greek philosopher Socrates declared that an unexamined life was not worth living. That is because being aware brings meaning to life and supports us to achieve greater happiness and fulfilment. Therefore, self-knowledge starts with self-awareness, which is the act of being aware of ourselves. We benefit tremendously from the courage to look within and to discover the areas concerned with our inner psychological core of the self. We start to understand our inner dimensions, or mindsets, that are a combination of our needs, values, beliefs, fears, worldviews, traumas, motivations, cognitive, emotional and relational capacities, and more. All what is driving us, everything that is behind our thoughts, decisions, behaviours and actions.
By doing that, we start to live a mindful life, creating the opportunity to heal and transform what is needed and to foster our positive qualities. We choose to have clarity and to consciously look at how we are showing up in the world and why. This allows us, for example, to stop “reacting” to life, repeating unhealthy patterns, being driven by fear and trauma or cultural influences, among others. At the same time, it allows us to practice self-development, as well as to move to self-mastery and self-actualization.
• Self-mastery is the ability to recognize and control the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of ourselves.
• And self-actualization occurs when we fully understand who we are, allowing us we live authentically, in coherence and alignment with our true selves and the calling of our souls, reaching our full potential, strengths and purpose.
All that gives us the power to take responsibility for our own lives and positively impact the world.
Self-kindness is another fundamental point. How do we perceive ourselves? How are we really feeling about ourselves? How do we talk to and treat ourselves? It is important to look at these aspects because they will determine how we show up in the world, and they will affect our interactions with others. We shall show up with love, accepting, valuing and taking care of ourselves. For this process to happen, we have to understand four concepts/practices that are distinct, but completely related: self-love, self-compassion, self-esteem, and self-care.
• Self-love is “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth” (Khoshaba, 2012).
• Self-compassion can be defined as being “kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings…” (Neff, n.d.).
• Self-esteem refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how much we like ourselves.
• Finally, self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
To have a healthy relationship with ourselves we must engage in these fours practices. Those are not selfish practices, but the opposite. By doing it, we make sure we’re doing the best we can towards ourselves and consequently this will impact others positively.
2. Relationship to others
The second relationship we look at is our relationship to others. We have to acknowledge in our minds and hearts that we are all interconnected and interdependent. The Zen Master and Vietnamese Buddhism monk Thich Nhat Hanh coined the term “Interbeing” to express the “reality of mutual interdependence in human relationship, both in the sense of relating one to another and in the wider sense of humanity’s relationship to the natural world as a whole.” We humans are a social species, this means that social connection is key to nearly every aspect of our health and wellbeing.
The same way that we need to create space and time in our lives to stop and deeply listen to ourselves, we need to come from this deeper place of presence to be able to perceive others and their contexts entirely. And also to be able to empathize with each other’s experiences and to develop compassion, which is the force that makes us act to support others to relieve suffering. Cultivating strong relationships with family, friends, work colleagues, etc., and expanding this sense of connection to our communities and humanity is proved by science to improve health and to increase longevity. At the same time, for the present and future world we want to build, trustworthy relationships support cooperation and altruism, a non negotiable characteristic for us to continue evolving and thriving as species.
3. Relationship to nature
The third relationship we look at is our relationship to nature. The climate crisis and environmental emergency we live in is showing us that we are failing in our relation with nature. We can’t have wellbeing without nature’s wellbeing. We have forgotten we are nature, we have maintained a very narrow connection to it and even we have become disconnected from it. Our existence depends on nature, from which we receive all the precious “resources” we need to live. This connection shall be felt even on levels we don’t usually perceive in our daily lives, such as how nature helps us to regulate our own feelings and keep us mentally healthy.
Nature connectedness offers simple solutions to help us deal with many of our current human challenges and especially with the sustainability of our species. What is at stake is not only saving the Earth, but being able to guarantee a prosperous human life in harmony with nature. We need to restore the integrity of our relation to nature, to how we understand nature, our role in it, to engage emotionally with nature and to find beauty in the natural world, noticing and actively engaging with it through all our senses. Giving ourselves the chance to explore and express how nature brings meaning to life. And from this deeper level of connection to nature, care for it as we truly feel it is our home.
To be the change we wish to see in the world, let’s start by transforming our relationships with self, others and nature! Realizing, being aware and consciously taking this journey every day completely changed our lives. And the lives of so many incredible people that we had the honor to help, mentor, experience, work and co-create with. If this message touched your heart, we invite you to set the intention to know more about everything we do together at We.Flow, and join us on this journey of evolving and positively contributing to the world.
Together, we will reframe how you feel about and deal with your relationships and, at the same time, how our relationships can foster your potential to generate wellbeing for all. When we reframe our relationships guided by our highest and supreme intention, we naturally expand it to our lifestyle and careers. We also invite you to read our other 4 articles related to this breathtaking journey of self-evolution and positive impact.
Flow with us, together, for a better world !!!
